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RegisterArticle 3: Emotional Intelligence: What is it? And how do we use it in business and the male dominated workplace?
Now it must be said that even I cringe when reading the title of this article. I severely dislike the idea that there was and potentially could still be something such as a “male dominated workplace”. For me, I regard things like this as outdated and of no consequence to me – however I recently realized that this may just be my way of sticking my head in the sand. I was surprised when I stumbled across an article in Time magazine which discussed how women were still being offered gender specific advice in the workplace. The article was interesting since it showed that as more women enter the business world and specifically male dominated professions the self help market catering to these woman has increased. So what advice is being offered? Pretty much everything from how to act, dress and even speak in a manner that is fitting to portraying a professional image in the business environment. Now this I can understand and embodying a professional image is something I personally take very seriously too. But a few days later I went shopping with a friend and while trying to decide between a blue or a pink scarf my friend suggested the blue would be more professional since it wasn’t as flashy and feminine. So this is when the penny dropped. I wasn’t really making my own rules of what professional was for me I was actually on a deep level adapting and conforming to what would be best for a “male dominated workplace”!
So I started thinking about the business world and how we all as men and women adapt to it. How we learn what is expected of us and what we should hide. And that is when I realised how often the feminine characteristics – such as emotion – are part of the skeletons we ignore in the closet. The more they rattle the more locks we put on the door. This is why I then ask - is this beneficial? And if it is – who is benefiting from us avoiding and ignoring our and other people’s emotions?
No one! And this is why we would like to introduce you to Emotional Intelligence.
Simply defined, emotional intelligence is your ability to understand your emotions, to perceive them as well as being able to understand and perceive others’ emotions. It is about understanding yourself and acting in a manner that supports this. The world of work has its challenges and these are ever changing. However, the more we understand ourselves, our roles, what we can offer to our organizations, teams and society as a whole the better equipped we are at dealing with the different situations that face us. The Emotional Intelligence we develop then leaves us more productive and it becomes easier to understand your own motives as well as others.
In the business environment male characteristics are often emphasised and valued since logical and rational thinking is necessary to meet our daily objectives and the bottom line. But who are we kidding? Emotions can be illogical, they can be confusing, they throw the spanner in the works and it is important to allow for this. Well, actually we have no choice in the matter, they just do. Think about a time when you had a difficult conversation with your boss about performance or anything for that matter – how did you feel before and after the conversation? Probably riddled with emotion. To be human is to feel, emotional intelligence is all about understanding and working with this fact especially since people are controlled by their emotions, even if they aren’t expressing emotion.
There is however a difference between being emotional and being emotionally intelligent. Emotionality is when we loose control and our emotions control us. I think we all know this something we only want to do in the privacy of our own home. However, most of us are so scared this might happen we ignore or suppress our emotions so we actually create that explosion in ourselves. Emotional Intelligence is about defusing that bomb and taking the locks off the cupboard so you can let the light in. When we develop our emotional intelligence we are able to feel our emotions but also understand why we are feeling them. And when we have that insight we are able to really act in a manner that is true to ourselves and others.
Emotional intelligence is seen in the subtle competencies that are often not overt in the job specification. Patience, self control, empathy, effective listening, organizational and diversity savviness and service orientation are key. These subtleties are more than just emotions such as crying at work because you are not getting along with your boss or your point of view is not heard. Here, we are talking about the skills you can use to motivate, understand, connect with and inspire others through understanding yourself: Why you think and feel the way you do about issues and situations; how that is interpreted by those around you; and how your thoughts and actions affect people with whom you come in contact with.
How does one go about being emotionally intelligent? Here’s a piece of information. Some studies suggest that women have much stronger interpersonal skills than their male counterparts. This means that women are much more aware of their own feelings as well as those of others and relate much better interpersonally than do men. These findings have important implications in the workplace. In the past, men have dominated the top positions, partly because of their stress tolerance and independence, but people skills are now becoming more important as a culture of team work and inclusivity is encouraged. Women’s strength in the interpersonal areas will now help them reach higher levels in the workplace. The journey is about creating a you that is more self aware.
It is important that you:
So I started thinking about the business world and how we all as men and women adapt to it. How we learn what is expected of us and what we should hide. And that is when I realised how often the feminine characteristics – such as emotion – are part of the skeletons we ignore in the closet. The more they rattle the more locks we put on the door. This is why I then ask - is this beneficial? And if it is – who is benefiting from us avoiding and ignoring our and other people’s emotions?
No one! And this is why we would like to introduce you to Emotional Intelligence.
Simply defined, emotional intelligence is your ability to understand your emotions, to perceive them as well as being able to understand and perceive others’ emotions. It is about understanding yourself and acting in a manner that supports this. The world of work has its challenges and these are ever changing. However, the more we understand ourselves, our roles, what we can offer to our organizations, teams and society as a whole the better equipped we are at dealing with the different situations that face us. The Emotional Intelligence we develop then leaves us more productive and it becomes easier to understand your own motives as well as others.
In the business environment male characteristics are often emphasised and valued since logical and rational thinking is necessary to meet our daily objectives and the bottom line. But who are we kidding? Emotions can be illogical, they can be confusing, they throw the spanner in the works and it is important to allow for this. Well, actually we have no choice in the matter, they just do. Think about a time when you had a difficult conversation with your boss about performance or anything for that matter – how did you feel before and after the conversation? Probably riddled with emotion. To be human is to feel, emotional intelligence is all about understanding and working with this fact especially since people are controlled by their emotions, even if they aren’t expressing emotion.
There is however a difference between being emotional and being emotionally intelligent. Emotionality is when we loose control and our emotions control us. I think we all know this something we only want to do in the privacy of our own home. However, most of us are so scared this might happen we ignore or suppress our emotions so we actually create that explosion in ourselves. Emotional Intelligence is about defusing that bomb and taking the locks off the cupboard so you can let the light in. When we develop our emotional intelligence we are able to feel our emotions but also understand why we are feeling them. And when we have that insight we are able to really act in a manner that is true to ourselves and others.
Emotional intelligence is seen in the subtle competencies that are often not overt in the job specification. Patience, self control, empathy, effective listening, organizational and diversity savviness and service orientation are key. These subtleties are more than just emotions such as crying at work because you are not getting along with your boss or your point of view is not heard. Here, we are talking about the skills you can use to motivate, understand, connect with and inspire others through understanding yourself: Why you think and feel the way you do about issues and situations; how that is interpreted by those around you; and how your thoughts and actions affect people with whom you come in contact with.
How does one go about being emotionally intelligent? Here’s a piece of information. Some studies suggest that women have much stronger interpersonal skills than their male counterparts. This means that women are much more aware of their own feelings as well as those of others and relate much better interpersonally than do men. These findings have important implications in the workplace. In the past, men have dominated the top positions, partly because of their stress tolerance and independence, but people skills are now becoming more important as a culture of team work and inclusivity is encouraged. Women’s strength in the interpersonal areas will now help them reach higher levels in the workplace. The journey is about creating a you that is more self aware.
It is important that you:
- Understand your own emotions: People who know and understand their feelings are better pilots of their lives.
- Recognize emotion in others: the art of relating to others includes the skill in managing emotions in others. For example, the ability to calm distressing emotions in others can help resolve many conflicts.
- Uses emotion to facilitate thoughts and actions
- Manage emotions : people who are effective in managing their emotions can cope better with life's adversities and can bounce back faster than those who are poor in managing their feelings
It is about understanding what the environment you are in is like but more importantly paying attention to what you are doing in it. It is often the case – the more you look at you and your contribution to any given situation the more positive the outcome can be for you and those around you.
Now get out there and exercise that advantage. Bridge those cultural differences and protocols. Listen to yourself and others. Communicate effectively. And see how much influence you yield as an emotionally intelligent woman!
To your brilliance…
Danielle & Val
Box Edge
Now get out there and exercise that advantage. Bridge those cultural differences and protocols. Listen to yourself and others. Communicate effectively. And see how much influence you yield as an emotionally intelligent woman!
To your brilliance…
Danielle & Val
Box Edge
2010
Sep 13
Sep 05
May 20
May 05